


Saved by Honest Stupidity

by TheDarkMetalLady



Category: Gloryhammer (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Incorrect Quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 19:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkMetalLady/pseuds/TheDarkMetalLady
Summary: Zargothrax was having a wonderfully evil day, and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong.





	Saved by Honest Stupidity

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by [incorrect-gloryhammer](https://incorrect-gloryhammer.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. Based on [this incorrect quote](https://incorrect-gloryhammer.tumblr.com/post/187627756817/zargothrax-riding-up-on-an-undead-unicorn-of-war).

_ Somewhere, in a far-away alternate dimension…  _

Zargothrax was having a wonderfully evil day.

Not only had he successfully obtained the Goblin King’s crystal key, but he had also given the Questlords of Inverness the slip and sent them on such a wonderfully long wild wyvern chase that, by the time they’d realize it was a fake lead, they’d be on the wrong end of the solar system. Everything was going perfectly according to plan; soon, he would open the gateway to the intergalactic nexus and unleash the Elder God Kor-Virliath of the Eighteenth Hell Dimension upon the galaxy, destroying this universe in exchange for unlimited power. 

Just when he thought the day could not become any more evil, the most perfect of opportunities presented itself to him. As he rode atop his undead unicorn of war, he spotted another lone rider on a unicorn up ahead, likely someone who got separated from the Questlords charge that had been after him earlier. It took little effort to realize who the rider was.

The Dark Sorcerer smirked to himself. It was tempting, so tempting, to laugh, but to do so would mean to reveal himself too soon. Instead, he gripped the reins tightly and silently urged his mount to ride faster but no less silently. He was soon quickly gaining upon the other rider, his small smirk becoming more evil the closer he got. He was almost there; he prepared a small spell in his hand, reaching out and about to get rid of the last thorn in his side that threatened the success of his plan…

“Well, if it isn’t the evil wizard Zargothrax.”

…and immediately, the spell died in the evil wizard’s hand as surprise took hold of him when Angus McFife the whatever -- 11th? 15th? Zargothrax didn’t care, it made no difference -- turned his head slowly, riding calmly and looking absolutely unsurprised to find the warlock behind him. It wiped the smirk clean off the sorcerer’s face, replacing it with an expression of shock and rage. 

“How did you know it was me?” Zargothrax demanded to know. How dare this young little nincompoop ruin his plans!? 

“I’m gonna be honest,” Angus said casually, having his unicorn slow down a bit so Zargothrax was riding even with him now, “the first couple of people I did that to were not you.”

Zargothrax blinked in confusion beneath his mask, trying to decipher what the pathetic mortal meant. 

Then, he heard an overly bright and absolutely annoying laugh, followed by the galloping of unicorn hooves. The Crown Prince of Fife was no longer riding alongside the Dark Sorcerer and was instead several dozens meters down the road and making a turn, disappearing from Zargothrax’s sight and becoming gone with the wind. Zargothrax roared in anger. The damn brat had tricked him and used his distraction to escape! 

No matter, Zargothrax reminded himself, not even bothering to give chase. After all, the little rascal was doomed anyways, for once Zargothrax reached the dwarven caverns beneath the mighty citadel of Dundee and put the Goblin King’s crystal key into the altar…

Wait a moment. The key! Where was the crystal key!?

The most infuriated scream the universe had ever heard filled the skies of the Intergalactic Great Empire of Fife. 

**Author's Note:**

> Can't stop, won't stop.
> 
> Want to see some of my other works or request a story? Check out my tumblr [here](https://thedarkmetallady.tumblr.com/) and my prompt and request rules [here](https://thedarkmetallady.tumblr.com/PromptAndRequestRules).


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